Divorces

I was diving home from dance one day with my father, when out of the blue he asked me, "how many of your friend's parents are divorced?" I thought about it, and as I went through the list in my head, I was shocked. I counted a total of ten. That memory has always stuck with me when I think about divorce. My best friend, Jade, grew up only seeing her biological father every once in a while. Nicole  never saw her father, and never wanted too. Ava split time evenly with her mother and father. Brad's mother moved far away after their divorce. I could not imagine growing up in a home where both my mother and father were not present. My friend's often referred to my parents as "mom and dad". At the time, I did not think anything of it, but now I believe they did that because they were craving the stability that comes from not divorced parents.

Out of my friends, only some of them had step parents. Those relationships were extra tricky. They felt they could not turn to them when they were in need, and they did not like them telling them what they can and can not do. I saw my friends hurt many times because of relationships and the struggles they were having. It was heartbreaking for me to watch that, as there friend. Remarriages are tricky, especially when there is children involved. It takes a special man or woman to step up and raise someone else's child(ren).

Parenting

"Don't just be reactive, by intentional."

I have pondered that thought a lot this week, especially when it comes to parenting. As a parent, it is not enough to just sit back and react after children have done something. Teaching them right and wrong before a situation arises it the best way to ensure their safety. As a child, my parents always taught me that I needed to work hard to get what I want in life. So when situations happen, and they are tough, I know that I hard work will always benefit me.

My parents were also very good about giving me power to overcome everything and anything. They let me make choices and were not afraid to let the consequences happen, whatever they were. I believe this also is another way of being intentional, rather then reactive.

Motherhood

I grew up in a home full of love, laughter, joy, and hard work. My parents taught my brother and I at a young age that if you want something, you have to work for it. Nothing in this world comes free. Both of my parents worked full-time jobs. I was often asked as a child if I felt I was missing out spending time with my family because both of my parents worked. There were times as a child that I felt that was true. I wanted to spend time with my mom, especially. The older I got, the more I understood that my mother would have loved to stay home with me too. I've heard her say often that she would have dropped everything to be able to stay home with me and my brother. 

I strive to be able to stay home with my children. I feel the relationship you build with your children at a young age will help them for the rest of their life. Although I did not have that time with my mother, we are lucky to have the type of relationship we do today. Being a full-time mother is one of the greatest responsibility and blessing a woman can have. I believe it is a calling to be a mother. To mold and teach children to become their potential. 

Communication

Over two months ago, I entered into a long distance relationship. We both felt it was the right time for us, but it was hard. We had liked each other for a while so things progressed rather fast after we started dating, Communicating, however, has never been easy for us. He wants to know what I am thinking all the time. He likes to talk about his feelings and get everything out in the open. The exact opposite of that is me. I do not like sharing my thoughts. I am a thinker, so I have to make sure i feel comfortable and confident in the situation before I will begin to express myself. Since we are not able to see each other as often as we would like, we cannot communicate using our non-verbal. Non-verbal communication is 51% of interactions. We have had to work extra hard to understand each other because we are unable to see our body language.

Communicating with someone is hard. It takes patience and a level of understanding to be able to resolve conflicts that may come up. When we do take that time and work together, that relationship is strengthened.  

Family Crisis

When families are placed under stressful situations, many different reactions can occur. There can be heart break, there can be fighting, among other things. Sometimes the situation is something out of our control. When I was seventeen, my father was diagnosed with Kidney cancer. It is something that threw my family for a loop. My father went into surgery to have the cancer removed, and we were told that there was a great chance that he would be home in three to four days, recovering, but cancer free. Unfortunately that is not what happened. Complications arose and my father ended up having to stay in the hospitals for two weeks.

Those two weeks were extremely hard complicated. Between my mother working a full time job, I attending high school, working, and an active participate in my ballet company, along with my brother attending college locally we were already a busy family, but now we had to add taking care of my father and making sure he was okay. We spent every second we could at the hospital, It was two weeks that changed my life forever. My family after that understood how fast everything can change. We stopped taking each other for granted and wanted to be around each other more. Our home was filled with more happiness and joy than ever before.

Waiting.

The topic of waiting until marriage was one I was asked verily often throughout high school. It seemed to be the only thing a lot of my friends were talking about. In fact, I am sure it still does with a number a high school students today. The idea of waiting seemed so foreign to them, and they never understood why. For a while, I did not understand why either, but I had been told my entire life that I needed too.

Through different experiences in my life, I finally understand why waiting until marriage to have sex is so key. It is because it is sacred. That bond that you and spouse share is something so special I cannot imagine sharing that with more than them. I heard often of breakups, made so much harder because that bond was there. As you spend more time together, you grow so much together. You share something special and sacred, that God intended for you to only with one other person.  

Planning a Wedding

Almost every girl dreams of her wedding day. The dress you will wear, the flowers, your maid of honor, and of course the man you marry. You think it will perfect and nothing can or will bring you down. Well. Turns our that is not true. I had the opportunity to me the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding back in May. I saw first hand the craziness that goes into planning a wedding. Between making sure all the bridesmaids had shoes, and arranging the flowers, I thought I was going to go crazy, and it was not even my wedding.

During this time, I had a lot of opportunities to think about what I would want my own wedding to be like. I learned some definitive dos and don'ts. My biggest take away had to do with family though. My friend's wedding was really complicated. Her parents are divorced, and both remarried. That doubles everything for just her side. Her husband's parents were also divorced, but they do not have and relationship with their mother's side of family. Jade's mother was the big wedding planner in all of this. She tried to communicate as much as possible with the other side of the family but it was just plain hard to get anywhere. Because of this, a lot of wedding fell on her. I learned that communication is so important in planning a wedding. Not just with your side of the family, but with everyone involved.