Planning a Wedding

Almost every girl dreams of her wedding day. The dress you will wear, the flowers, your maid of honor, and of course the man you marry. You think it will perfect and nothing can or will bring you down. Well. Turns our that is not true. I had the opportunity to me the maid of honor in my best friend's wedding back in May. I saw first hand the craziness that goes into planning a wedding. Between making sure all the bridesmaids had shoes, and arranging the flowers, I thought I was going to go crazy, and it was not even my wedding.

During this time, I had a lot of opportunities to think about what I would want my own wedding to be like. I learned some definitive dos and don'ts. My biggest take away had to do with family though. My friend's wedding was really complicated. Her parents are divorced, and both remarried. That doubles everything for just her side. Her husband's parents were also divorced, but they do not have and relationship with their mother's side of family. Jade's mother was the big wedding planner in all of this. She tried to communicate as much as possible with the other side of the family but it was just plain hard to get anywhere. Because of this, a lot of wedding fell on her. I learned that communication is so important in planning a wedding. Not just with your side of the family, but with everyone involved.    

To Steady Date... Or Not?

Confession: I am a steady dater. I always have been. I love having a boyfriend and I think that dating around is really awkward. From the moment I was sixteen and allowed to officially go on dates, it did not take long a lot for me to realize that going on dates was not nearly as fun as just dating one guy. So at sixteen I had my first boyfriend. We dated about a year, and then it was boring. It was like waking up one day in the dark. Nothing felt fun, it was same old things everyday. So we broke up. It did not take long until I was right back steady dating someone new. Shocker, right? This one ended soon, and then I was back with the first boy, then with the second boy again. It was a mess. High school ended (thankfully) and with that came a move across the country to a new state, where hardly anyone knew me. I could date around and just have fun. I think you might be able to guess what actually happened...

I dated for two months. Some of the dates were TERRIBLE. Some were magical. Some never called back for another date. Some called too often, Then I met the him. He was nice, kind, giving, and actually liked me. So we rushed into a relationship. Turns out he was a steady date kind of person too. We both ended up serving missions for our church* but agreed that we would write each other and come home and get married and live happily ever after.

Fast forward a little over two years, we are both home, and plot twist, we are not together. Things ended messy and it was hard, but I knew the Lord had a greater plan for me. While on my mission I had some experiences that led me to start writing an elder I served with after I got home. We wrote, as friends, the rest of his time out, and began talking everyday after he did get home. We met up about two months after he got home for a date of bowling and ice cream. He lives in Utah, and I live in Idaho, so neither of us were sure where it was going to go, but we both had so much fun. We continued to talk all the time and things were just so easy with him. At this point we had talked so much that I considered him an amazing friend, my best friend actually. One night, as I was reflecting back on my life over the past couple of years I had the thought come to mind "I told you there was someone better."

God has a plan. He knows what we need rather than what we want, and  sometimes it is hard to accept that plan. Trust me, though, His plan brings true happiness. I am a witness of that.

*To learn more about missions you can go to:
- https://www.mormon.org/stories/purpose-of-missions
- https://www.mormon.org/values/missionary-work

Sticks and Stones

While in high school, a new family moved into our area and attended church with us. They had one son about my age. He seemed to have a really good since of fashion and spoke in more a high pitch voice. He was in choir and drama, and because of those things, often people assumed or would call him gay. I found myself even questioning at some points if he was. Throughout the next months, we began to get close as friends, and he did confine in me that he did believe he was gay. I was there to support him, and encourage him.

I often wonder if because of the comments people made towards him were related to that, if that played a part in his life choices. I was shocked when he told me he was gay, because I remember there being times when he hurt by those comments. We truly need to start watching what we say to others. The saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is not true. Words hurt. They cut us down and can make us question everything we have every thought to be true.  

The Melting Pot

During my eleventh grade English class, we were given an assignment to ask our peers what they thought of the phrase "America is a melting pot" meant. Most of the answers were something along the lines of "it means there are a lot of different kind of people here". Less often, I was told they had no idea or they had never heard that phrase before. One really stood out to me that has stuck with with me since then. They said "It means people come here expecting something great and amazing, and instead they get burned." I was pretty off put and confused by that but I finally feel I understand what they were saying.

So often, others come to America in hopes for a better life, not necessarily for them, but for their future generations. What we do not realize is the impact this can have on the family. Families are torn apart and separated by the intense desire to have a better life. When families are finally reunited, they have been apart for so long, the family roles and dynamics have completely changed. This, however, does not mean they are any less a family than families that have stayed together and lived in America all their lives. No family is greater than another, because they all are revolved around loved. When love is your motivation, your motivation is pure. These families that were separated, were because the parents loved their children so much, they waned something better for them than what they had. Love changes everything,